Size Matters
What does the size of the problems in your life say about you?
Now you might think I’m crazy when I say this – but when it comes to the problems in your life – Size Matters, but not how you think it might!
- List the biggest problem in your life
Now if you’ll bear with me….
The problem with your problems is they are NOT BIG ENOUGH!
Well at least this holds true for most of us most of the time…..
Let me explain ….
Firstly, one of the problems with problems is that we think they are “bad” and don’t won’t to deal with them, and we resist them.
And what we resist, persists
OK ….. step one is to accept your problems fully – in fact – embrace them.
Step two, is to stop trying to get around your problems, or find easy solutions and start to deal with it directly.
Step three is to get honest with yourself about your mental attitude about the problems in your life.
- Ask yourself – who am I being to have a problem like this persist in my life? Don’t be derogatory or deprecating – just be honest.
- What positive things (pay offs) do I get out of having this thing persist? – If you can’t think of some juicy benefits – you’re not being honest!
Consider that whenever you create a “problem” in your life, you also create yourselves in the process, and most of the time it belittles you – you unconsciously limit yourself by judging yourself as somebody who has trouble dealing with that type of thing.
Your behavior and actions will fall in line with your own created opinions of yourself and pretty soon the people around you will start to relate to you as the person you created yourself as. They’re feedback to you will reinforce your own opinion of yourself and you become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Their opinions won’t change until, yours does, after a consistent change in behavior and action
Now; time for the good stuff – some mental gymnastics that may give you a new perspective on your problems.
Human beings are creatures of context and comparison – that’s what Einstein’s law or relativity is all about.
But anyhow, this article is about something we have a better chance of grasping!
It’s about a type of mental framework called context, in this case:
SIZE Matters!
I’ll tell you a little story of a client of mine, who after some discussion with me decided to help 3 friends also get fit and lose weight as a way of supporting her achieve her own fitness & weight loss goals – a great idea – when you lead the way for others we often put greater effort in ourselves!
I then said to her: that’s not enough people!
She looked at me a little peeved and begrudgedly said “OK …… I’ll help 4 people!”
I said “No way! Multiply it by ten!”
She screeched “40 PEOPLE! – NO WAY!” and actually got angry and that was the end of our session!
Well, next we spoke – she was a different woman, all excited and busy telling me how she had gotten a group together from her work, that included a bunch of people from her work for lunchtime and after-work socializing and playing sports, and stuff like organising a salad bar at the work canteen. She had also taken up spending time with her niece, helping her with her basketball training, by volunteering as an assistant for the team (about another 12 people). Also the 3 original friends had also added people to the pool, including their friends, family and work colleagues, and to total number of people she was helping; was now more like 60! And thats not including the people those people then when on the help!
She was thrilled! She lost more weight and got fitter that she had ever expected and kept it off, she also enrolled to train to be a basketball coach (she had been a keen player in her younger days) and now coaches her nieces basket ball team – which she says is one of the joys of her life!
All her friends and work colleagues suddenly changed the way they related to her! She has never been the same
The SIZE of your problem matters
Consider what action you would take:
If you saw a 50 cent piece under a parked car – just out of reach
Or
If someone you loved, was trapped under the car and only had minutes to live if you didn’t help
Consider what action you would take:
If you needed $30 extra to buy organic meat & vegetables each week
Or
If you needed to raise $1,000,000 to build a health centre in your area, so the local families didn’t have to travel 200km to the nearest hospital to have access to health care
OK, now let’s get back to your problems:
How would making your problem, bigger, MUCH BIGGER actually help you?
- List 3 creative and helpful idea’s that make your problem bigger, at least 10 times bigger
- Choose the best idea and get in action about it – list at least 1 action that you will take today about this new bigger problem!
You must be logged in to post a comment.